To MACC Chief of Commission Abu Kassim Mohammed.
Dear Sir,
I would like to be the first to apply to open a coffin shop at the main entrance gate of your newly completed MACC office in Cochrane Road.
I understand that MACC is making an effort to show the people that they are working by catching mosquitoes but forgetting we want the big sharks too. So to quicken the process so that UMNO can win in the coming 13th General Election everything must be cepat tutup buku, violent is use.
Putting that aside for now, my main interest at this moment is to make money and knowing that MACC has good track record of people committing suicide at the offices when giving statement whether as an offender or witness. Please allow me to be the first to apply for a space to sell coffin. The coffin can be placed just at the main entrance gate of your newly posh office. I understand your need for the ground floor space to be empty for the suiciders to land when they jump from the first, second and third floor.
So please consider my application favourably as a last-stop service centre similar to checking into Hotel California.