Top Ten Cloves: Other Pope Tweets

By J. Thomas Duffy


News Item: Pope sends first tweet, launching new Vatican site


10.  Can't wait to see Transformers 3 ...


  9.  Anybody know how to upload some pics to FB? ... Shitass things won't take ...


  8.  Don't know bout this writer, but we doin fabulous with deals from Groupon ... Got this badass iPad with bomb of a discount!


  7.  Who looks better in his shorts, me or that Weiner guy?


  6.  Tell the Egyptians to "Get A Life!"


  5.  Follow Me! ... I want to make a run at Lady Gaga this month, for tops!


  4.  WTF NY? ... We'll have to reach out to our boy Pat Robertson, see if he can conjure up a hurricane or tornado ...


  3.  Here's a "Shout Out" to my boys in Philly ... Hang tough, we'll all get thur this (and use the Woodstock thing, it's the bomb)


  2.  I don't know about you, but I would $$ to see Bachmann and Palin mud wrestle!


  1.  Hey ChrisF on Haypi Kingdom, I'm cummin' after U MFer! ... U stole my crops!



Bonus Riffs


Blessed be thy tweeters: Pope issues praise in fewer than 140 characters


Know Thy Pope


Retro Garlic: "We Got An Eight-Page Layout With Viceroy ... The New Pope Is A Thinking Man ..."


Vatican Discounts "Bonfire Pope"; Says Flames "Not Hunched Over Enough"


Top Ten Cloves: Things The Vatican Has Done To Make Good Friday Even Better

Cross posted on The Garlic: All The Cloves Fit To Peel

Top Ten Cloves: Possible reasons Sarah Palin cancelled her bus tour

By J. Thomas Duffy 

News Item: Report: Sarah Palin quits bus tour halfway through, retreats to Alaska

10.  Looking to get in line early for the new iPhone

9.  Believed, since trademark of her name came through, if continued tour, would have to sue herself

8.  Just following history - didn't Paul Revere take a break during his ride?

7.  Couldn't miss another minute of the Casey Anthony trial

6.  The GPS in Palin's bus is on the same system as the one used by United Airlines

5.  Already quit the Governor's job - what else was left to quit?

4.  Took advice from LeGone James to just sit out the last quarter of the tour

3.  Wanted to get off the road in time to catch Keith Olbermann's debut on CurrentTV

2.  Has a new idea, to do, kind of, a "Winning" tour, like Charlie Sheen

1.  Lost the bus to Tobey Maguire in a poker game

 

Bonus Riffs 

Kirsten Boyd Johnson: Sarah Palin Follows Comedy Rules And Quits Bus Tour Halfway Through

Alex Pareene: Sarah Palin baffles and frustrates fans by quitting bus tour 

Dan Amira: Sarah Palin Was Supposed to Be Delighting Us All With Another Bus Tour by Now

Colby Hall: No Joke: Sarah Palin Reportedly Quits One Nation Bus Tour Halfway Through 

(Cross-posted at The Garlic.)

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Disney "Navy Seal Team 6" movies to be released

By J. Thomas Duffy 

Disney doesn't have to go far to exploit the killing of Osama bid Laden by the Navy Seal Team 6, it can just dip into the vast reservoir of its own film vault and rework storylines. 

News Item: Disney Trademarks "Seal Team 6" 

10. 101 Navy Seal Team 6's (Navy Seal Team 6 disrupts Al Qaeda suicide dog attack)

9. Song of the Seal Team 6 (Human interest pic of first African-American in Seal Team 6)

8. Terrorists in the Outfield (Summer 2012 - Al Qaeda targets Game 7 of World Series, but Navy Seal Team 6 swoops in, foils plot, and saves all the baseball players and fans)

7. That Darn Osama! (Navy Seal Team 6 adopts stray Islamic cat that leads them to Osama bin Laden)

6. The Shaggy Seal Team 6 (Navy Seal Team 6 shape-shifts into old English sheep dogs and herds all the terrorists into jail)

5. Honey, I Shrunk Osama Bin Laden (After accidentally shrinking Osama bid Laden, Navy Seal Team 6 gets shrunk to hunt down and kill him)

4. Who Framed Osama Bin Laden? (First animated Navy Seal Team 6 pic - Bob Hoskins returns as the private detective and helps Navy Seal Team 6 work through an army of Disney and other cartoon characters to track down Osama bin Laden and kill him)

3. The Absent-Minded Jihadist (With nod to original pic, Navy Seal Team 6 discovers old Pentagon Flubber files and develops Flubber Airplanes and other weapons to hunt down and kill Osama bin Laden)

2. 20,000 Terrorists Under The Sea (Water adventure, borrowing from Pirates of the Caribbean - Disney sees multiple sequels with this)

1. The Navy Seal 6 King (Another animated pic, staying close to original, telling tale of young Navy Seal 6 team member destined to become team leader but having to deal with disgruntled team member, overcoming numerous plots to kill him before youngster beats him back and emerges victorious, with other Team 6 members bowing to him)

 

Richard K. Barry: Is Disney really going to trademark "SEAL Team 6"?

Daily Mail: Disney trademarks 'Seal Team 6' for toys, games, movies, snow globes and Christmas stockings TWO days after daring Bin Laden mission

John Cook: Disney Trademarks "SEAL Team 6"

(Cross-posted at The Garlic.)