WITH US: Would-be Republican Presidential candidates Mike Huckabee and Donald Trump have announced they will not run after all.
AGAINST US: There are still plenty of other Republican dipshits who'd like to be the nominee: Romney, Daniels, Pawlenty, Huntsman, Gingrich, even Palin and Bachmann.
WITH US: None of them are worth a bucket of warm spit.
AGAINST US: Our brilliant state legislature here in Ohio has passed a new law which will allow guns in bars and restaurants. Guns and alcohol -- always a good idea! You couldn't possibly come up with a more dangerous, idiotic law.
AGAINST US: Not so fast, my friend. South Carolina, refusing to be outdone in the Stupid State Stakes by an upstart like Ohio, has introduced legislation to allow guns in daycare facilities. Now, if they'd just allow guns and alcohol in daycare centers, they'd clinch the championship.